Weddings

I watched a programme last night where a lovely young woman went around the country talking to people about why and how they wanted to get married. She was planning her own wedding, and questioning her reasons for getting married (she already had a baby and was in a long term relationship) and was interested in other people's motives for tying the knot.

As well as finding out the why of marriage, she covered such things as the cost, the statistics of success for various age groups, wedding accessories..

Her first visit was to a girl of 16, who was engaged to a boy of 15. The boy's mother was very keen on the idea and didn't seem to think there was anything strange about committing yourself to someone for life at the age of 15/16. She'd been married at 18, she declared proudly, though 'it didn't work out', but this didn't dampen her enthusiasm one bit. SHe liked weddings, thought it was lovely and sweet. The girl's mother (who wasn't interviewed) was obviously more reticent and had persuaded them to wait until she was eighteen. Sensible woman. However, they'd already bought the dress.

I have to say, the girl was not the most articulate, but the boy was even less so. Also, as he chatted (if it can be called that) to the interviewer about what he found attractive in his bride to be, he was busy pinching her nipple. Cringe inducing stuff - we actually had to turn away. The girl seemed relieved that she wouldn't have to sleep with anyone else, she'd 'been around' she declared, not altogether proudly, but 'not as much as her fiance, you can't beat his score.' It turned out he'd had about twenty partners. For a fifteen year old, that is fairly shocking. Call me an old fashioned middle aged bigot, but.... To give her credit, the interviewer took everything they said in her stride and tried not to judge, though couldn't resist pointing out that the boy was much more 'under confident' (a code for moronic) than she'd expected.

Her visit to the fiance of a footballer was shocking in a different way. Her dress alone was going to cost something like £8000.00. Her ring would weigh down any hand, and she unashamedly said that if he'd got her a smaller one, she would have refused to marry him. So, a lot of love going on there. Her father seemed pleased to 'get rid of her', claiming she was very demanding. Really? I hadn't noticed!

Probably the most touching was the Indian lady who had resisted years of potential arranged marriages and waited till she was thirty to choose her partner. But she was still traumatised about leaving her parents' home and there was a touching scene of her brother, this huge, robed young man, weeping as they drove off in their marital car, having kissed goodbye to their family.

And the born again Christian couple who were saving themselves for their wedding night, who talked candidly (and quite hilariously) about how they controlled their obvious ardour. The woman confessed she couldn't wait to get her hands on him. I hope their honeymoon lived up to expectations!

I concluded from the various stories covered that for most people, marriage is a combination of social expectation, a chance to spend some money and have a big day devoted to themselves, and love, which did come into it, thank God.

Crazes

I was going through my junk recently, 'de-cluttering', and realised how many different crazes I go through which involve buying large quantities of equipment, most of which gets used for about two weeks and then stored, somewhere, for when I'm re-inspired with that particular thing.

I've always been a seeker of something I can be good at or a group I can be a part of.

My mother bought me:

- brownie outfit (though I inherited the 'sash' - I was a US brownie - from my sister, complete with all the sewn badges, which I then claimed as my own. Not a good start for the moralistic brownie pack);
- a guitar, (on which I learnt three chords, enough to play 'Blowin in the WInd' over and over again. I did have classical guitar lessons, but they were a disaster.
- a melodica, (I didnt' have lessons on this, but picked up a few paltry little tunes)
- a rock polishing machine (I am probably personally responsible for the increase of the ozone layer. That thing took months to polish rocks, which I hadn't chosen with any care, just picked up randomly around the city. Needless to say, the end result was a bitter disappointment).
- Endless small animals.

In adult life:

- I have enough wool to insulate our entire house. One day, I'll just accept that my knitting/crocheting days our over - I have done neither since I gave up smoking (Ironically, perhaps).
- Paints. Sacks of them. Watercolour paints, oil paints, acrylic paints. You name it, I've got it. For my 'art' and my paper mache craze, when I sat at the kitchen table constructing useless objects which were usually unidentifiable. Most of them rotted (my husband was so grateful) because I used the old fashioned paste, ie flour and water.
- Bits of broken crockery. For the mosaic I will create one day.
- Single earrings. See above.
- Keys. When I was teaching, these were good for stimulating children's imaginations. Teaching makes one a terrible hoarder, because having props is very comforting.
- Material. I do sew, on occasion, usually curtains or putting the odd dart in a too large garment. I have made my own clothes, but tents aren't very flattering on a slightly overweight fifty year old, so I've stopped. My latest acquisition of material was ear marked for the making of some bunting. It cost a fortune and now sits in a bag, waiting for the long winter months when I have nothing to do. Yeah, right, that's really going to happen!
- A cowbell, shakers and various other bits of samba drumming acoustic instruments.
- Another guitar. I learnt three more chords before I put it away.
- Endless bits of small gym equipment ie. weights, a large elastic band thing, something with handles you stretch, a huge ball.

Do I ever use them? Of course not.
But, the point is, I just might.