Gremlins

Does anyone else have a nasty little laughing Gremlin living in their computer? I will be happily typing away, lost in some pleasant reverie, when this manic laughter suddenly erupts. What the hell is so funny?

I would like to get rid of it, but think it's the kind of thing that will come back to haunt me, slowly sending me into a dribbling, paranoid wreck.

Still, it's good to know that my life is actually so devoid of worries, that this is the only thing I have to be stressed about at the moment. I expect I can learn to live in harmony with it.


Though, come to think of it, what it reminds me of is this creepy man on the latest Dawn Porter 'Free Love' series, who went to Odessa to 'find a wife' (having paid a tidy sum of £5000 for the pleasure).

I know I said I would never be nasty again, but I am making an exception in this case because I honestly believe this guy has the potential to do harm. He was so self deluded it was scary. Everything Dawn said to him, engendered a burst of demented, high pitched giggling. The kind that sets alarm bells ringing: 'Do Not Touch! DANGER!'. I'm sure it was not just the fact he apparently stank, had halitosis and dressed as if he was going to a football match, that put them off. Who could live with that laugh?

Then there was the business man. He talked about slapping and pushing around as if these were perfectly normal everyday occurances in a relationship. He had some conviction for trying to run over his ex wife or her lover or someone. He explained this away somehow, but Ukranian women are smart. They detected the simmering aggression. Money alone was not going to attract them to him.

Finally, there was the Christian policeman. Of the three, he was the one who most interested these women. They were particularly attracted by his job. They had obviously watched too many romanticised US cop shows. He came armed with a large box of jelly beans. To these, he attached a tiny Christian comic book. Who could possibly resist?



In the end, none of these men managed to bag a wife. But the women had a great time. They ate as much free food as they could cram into their mouths and drank as much champagne as they could knock back in one session. I expect they went home, alone, laughing.